One of these days I had a revelation.
As with most revelations it was really nothing that far out or extraordinary. It was something pretty basic, which was staring me in the face, but I still needed that moment of recognition in order to really get it.
As is readily apparent, I haven’t been writing here all that much. In fact I’ve been almost completely absent for quite some time now.
The reasons are many and varied, of course, but there is one main reason which is not something I’m particularly proud of… The fact is that I tend to write less when something is wrong or worrying me.
In fact in the last few months something has been on my mind, something which annoys me a lot and I get so frustrated by it that I stop myself from writing, lest I start to pour out my bad humor and get people down for no real reason. Its like they say: “If you don’t have anything nice to say you’d better not say anything at all”. I’m a big believer in that motto (hard as it may be for my friends to believe that!)
But anyway, things are better now. Everything is pretty much the same, but I’ve taken a few resolutions which will make things better and the simple fact that I made them is enough for me to feel better, the major stress factor being, essentially, gone, but you know how it is: it is far easier to break a good habit than it is to get back into it, right?
So while I have occasionally though about starting to write again, I just never got around to it. And, much to my surprise, a few people have actually asked me about my weblog and if I was still out there (as is readily apparent from one of the latest entries). But I never really took it for what it meant, until yesterday a close friend of mine asked me if I was dead to my blog.
Why was he asking that, I asked back, I haven’t been writing, sure, but so what?
“Well”, he told me, “it is just a shame because I used to follow your blog to know what you’re up to and now I can’t”.
And that’s when it struck me: that’s why I started blogging in the first place all those years back, this is not (just) a tech journal or a interesting fact gatherer, it is also a means and a place to keep in touch with people. Actually to let people who care about me know what I’m doing and thinking even when we can’t be as close as we’d like on a daily basis. It is also a plain old journal of my (real) life.
People had asked me about it, sure, but it took a good friend giving me the hint for the message to get across… Man, I can be so dense sometimes…
So thank you, I needed that! :-)
This is not a new year’s resolution, partly because I haven’t made any and also because I don’t believe in them, but I do promise (to myself) that I will try and keep writing something to the public part of the site, in whatever form this blog may take in the future (hint, hint!)